(the previous post in this series is here: Putting It All Together – Part 6 )
But it took a bit of time to get there; from studying about them to being able to work with them. Happily however, I was aided by a blind-siding crisis. About nine months into the alcoholic-foods abstinence (the next addiction in line behind the alcohol) and six months off the cigarettes; a very dear friend of mine told me to… take a hike. I kind of knew why, but not really, and she made no explanation. For a while I was pretty angry about the whole thing… but throughout the painful process… I, with laser-power, on purpose, forced myself not to use or obsess over… ANYTHING!!! This was really, really, really hard!! Not just because it was hard by itself (it was) but the crisis increased my desire to use exponentially. But again, though it was extremely painful, I found I didn’t die, and that it could be done. Anyway, after some of the dust settled, the whole mess turned out to be a blessing. If you don’t use or obsess during a blind-siding crisis, it can speed up recovery to a dizzying pace. Like going through a worm-hole, you can get to your destination in record time. This crisis acted like dynamite. It blasted out the dirt I’d been drudgingly plowing up for so long, and planted the seed which practically sprang from the ground, producing this huge discovery… How To Work With The Introject !!
And you can do this too. You can go through anything and not use or obsess. This is the hard part. The ‘climbing Mount Everest” part. The boogie-man is a cinch to work with. It’s the process of getting face-to-face with that boogie man (by not using or obsessing) that’s the climb up Mount Everest. The addiction and obsession removal will probably be the murderous part of this process toward wellness; not the facing of your boogie-man. For me, it was the addiction/obsession removal, especially my primary addiction to alcohol, that hurt so damned bad. Sobriety plowed me open to accepting an intimate relationship with a Higher Power. Getting intimate with any ‘Being’ (even a spiritual one) was an enormously terrifying under-taking for me. These two things had to take place though, for the magic to work: ONE; releasing all addictions and obsessions permanently, TWO; latching onto a Loving Higher Power. Both were absolutely necessary, but both were… to put it mildly… a holy bitch! to do. I mean it! Be prepared. Be very prepared. And hold on to your ass, because it’s really, really, really going to be a hell of a ride! But take it from me. It’s totally worth it, even though it’s going to be a bitch! What you get back will completely astound you; more than you could ever dream in your wildest dreams.
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(the next post in this series is here: Putting It All Together – Part 8