This is an addendum post to an earlier post called: “REBELLION“
As I am moving along in my recovery journey, more has been revealed
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I am currently talking about abstaining from junk food, but what does this have to do with recovery?
I am an alcoholic who is also a junk-food junkie. I have been sober since 1980 and I have found that sobriety has been vital to recovering from my past and what was done to me. Because of abstaining from alcohol I have been able to uncover many deep issues I have been plagued with from childhood. Someday I will go into more depth about these issues and recovering from them, but that is not what this post is about.
This post is about abstaining from all junk food, and what this has to do with recovery. Is abstaining from this substance all that necessary? For me it is. I am a junkie when it comes to the white flour/sugar/chocolate combination. When I take in this combination I go ‘on the nod’; becoming half unconscious. In this respect, I am not unlike a heroin addict. After I’ve eaten half a chocolate cake in one sitting, nothing whatsoever brothers me. I don’t hate myself anymore and life doesn’t seem all that difficult the way it normally does when I am fully conscious. Now I have been abstinent since August 15th of this year. That’s 54 days now. This is absolutely the longest time I have been free of my junk food addiction since I got sober; and I have God-given OA (Overeaters Anonymous) to thank for that…. that and my OA sponsor who has proved to be invaluable to my having the ability to stay abstinent.
And what has all this abstaining brought me? A whole hell of a lot already. The most important issue that has been uncovered, so far, is my lack of trust toward my Higher Power… the God of Jesus Christ. This came to the fore just yesterday while I was in kneeling prayer. It just came out…
“I don’t trust you as far as I can throw you!”
and I started to cry a bit. Let me tell you, this was brand new news to me.
Other things have burbled to the surface as well. There is a lot of insane thinking under the junk food (what the Anonymous programs call ‘stinking thinking’). I have been able to cover up a great deal of deep, deep problems through using these substances.