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This is about death.
If you fear death like me, you might consider this idea.
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For a lot of years – ever since ‘the incident’ – I’ve been terrified of death. But a while ago I had a spiritual awakening. It was God stepping in to help me overcome this terror. He loves me and doesn’t want me to have so many fears. I have a lot of fears about things… about life in general…. many fears.
I mentioned ‘the incident’: an attack when I was 22. A brute of a man grabbed me off the street at knife-point at two in the morning. He dragged me into the woods, and as we went deeper and deeper into the woods I got more and more panicky. I began to think; “This guy is going to kill me! And he does not want anyone to find my body! “I am going to die out here in the woods; stabbed to death; and bleed out alone! My body will slowly disintegrate and the animals and insects will eat me. I am going to die alone… here… in the blackness of night.”
I would become a statistic: a missing person’s story in the paper:
“Girl Disappears Without a Trace Somewhere Between
New York City and Her Home in New Jersey”
My parents were not the average sort. When I didn’t come home until the next morning they never asked me where I was. So I didn’t tell them what happened. I’m sure they were thinking, when I didn’t come home all night; “What the heck is she doing now?!”
I searched for a solution in therapy, and PTSD-type therapy helped somewhat, so most of the time it is just a memory: something I lived through, the optimal word being – ‘lived’. But the thing is, I was left with a huge fear of dieing. I equated death with pitch-blackness and being alone.
That word… death… It sounds so… final.
six feet under…
the End of life
As I heard growing up…“The worms crawl in, the worms crawl out, the worms crawl in and out your snout.”
But then, many years later, after I had become a Christian, something happened to me that I never will forget. I was at a friend’s house involved in a regular Bible study when God played for me a movie about death.
God’s movie revealed itself as an antidote to my terror – about when death happens. I will not be alone; and it won’t be pitch black. Friends and family will be waiting to greet me on the other side. I will be jumping into another world. In the movie, I saw billions and billions of people who were taking a quick, easy jump off this ‘cliff to another world’ ahead of me. And billions and billions of people who will be taking this quick, easy jump after me. It was just a quick, little jump that I will be taking it with billions of others. I will not be taking the tiny leap alone. Those who jumped before me will be waiting; with open arms they will be waiting – just for me! With smiles and in a great white light, they will be waiting. This calmed my fear immensely.
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**Peace & Feloreaw to our Loving Father**
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