This is going to be a free-form post so it may not make much sense. I’m writing it mostly to keep my fingers busy – so I won’t use them to stuff my face with.
So I’ve been abstinent a week now and I’ve already lost close to 3 pounds [1.4 kilograms]. Today was pretty hard though and I’m kind of tired from all the not-eating. What do I do with all this empty time I have on my plate now? I used to spend it eating. Now what do I do with it? I have a go-go-go mentality and if I don’t lay off that behavior I know I’m not going to make it. I guess God’s going to have to teach me how to slow down.
It’s very interesting what I’m finding out about ‘abstinence’. It used to be all about not eating so much. But it’s turning out to have more to do with getting my mental, emotional, and spiritual muscles into shape first by doing all the things my OA sponsor has me do. I’m starting to believe that the physical follows behind that.
This is what I’ve been told to do every day…
1. Pray for help to make healthy food and life choices throughout the day.
2. Practice being kind to myself.
3. Listen to one on-line pod-cast of an OA meeting. [There is only one decent, face-to-face meeting a week in the area where I live.]
4. Make one ‘out-reach’ phone call to another recovering person.
5. Read two paragraphs from the OA 12×12 book, write about them and e-mail them to my sponsor.
6. Go through the OA Workbook and answer one question a day and e-mail it to my sponsor.
7. Write down every single thing I put in my mouth. Be totally honest about it, and e-mail it to my sponsor. [I now have to eat publicly and not in secret like I have been doing.]
This may sound like a lot of work… and it is. But I’m flabby. Not just physically, but mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. I will need to do a lot of exercise to get all my muscles into shape. Did you notice that the food part of this recovery is located in last place on the list? That’s because the abstaining is a by-product of all the inside work and not the other way around. I’ve heard it said that; “If you don’t straighten up on the inside, you won’t be able to keep the outside straightened up.” From all my trials with dieting I’ve found this to be very true. So God and I are going to be cleaning up my insides and, hopefully, my outside will come along for the ride.
I’m a curious cat and I’m intrigued. Where is recovery of this sort is going to take me? I have no idea what’s to appear on the horizon next, but I’m pretty sure it’s going to be a fascinating journey. Just fascinating!
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**Peace & Feloreaw to our Great & Mighty God**
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