Something’s been gnawing at me for the last several weeks now, so that I thought I’d write about it.
As many of you already know, I was witness to the death of my 82-year-old mom [in-law] in the beginning of February this year when we did hospice in our home for her. So, since that happened this thing’s been rolling around in my brain that I hadn’t gotten a conscious grasp on until now. The thing is this…
Time is marching on.
My mom [in-law] was my age when Jerry and I got married in 1988. Then I turned around and I’m doing hospice care for her at the age of 82. That was 25 years ago. So, I asked myself; “Self? Where did that huge chunk of time go?” I turned around and now we’ve been married 25 years. Again, I asked myself; “Where did all that time go?!”
I don’t know!
It just went. It disappeared into a mist when I wasn’t looking. Now I am looking at my future. My mom [in-law] was my age, and that was only a hop and a skip ago.
Before I know it – I’m going to be her age! The age of 82! And it will be my turn to be hospiced.
It’s this concept of ‘time’ that’s been rolling around in my sub-conscious. It’s flying right past me, and I’m not even looking. I guess I’ve been busy doing something somewhere else. I haven’t been present. I haven’t been – here.
‘Time is holy’, and it’s slipping away from me like loose change from a holy pocket.
Time is marching on… and I’m not paying it any mind. It’s a non-inflationary entity and, no matter how much more of it I want, I will only be getting a certain amount. There won’t be any more. It’s non-inflationary.
So lately, the last few days or so, the sentence; “Time is marching on.” has been at the forefront of my mind. “What the heck have I been doing?! I have to pay attention! Time is marching on, and it’s going to march right past me!”
I walked from the doctor’s office; to the bank; to Burger King; to the library; and back to the doctor’s office. I paid attention to ‘being there’ the whole time. Because ‘time is holy’. Time is so, so, so precious. I need to ‘be here’ and be present for it. Because, before I know it, I will be 82, and…
it will all be gone.
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**Peace & All Feloreaw to our Great & Mighty God**
I hope I have communicated well enough what I understand about this. If there are parts missing, or parts that don’t make sense, please ask Him about this. I know He will fill in any gaps in understanding – in mine or in yours. What do you think? I’m open to any input about what has been revealed to you in this.
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