‘Honor your father and your mother, as the Lord your God has commanded you, that your days may be long, and that it may be well with you in the land which the Lord your God is giving you.”
Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother,” which is the first commandment with promise: “that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth.”
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For many, many – mmaannyyy – years, I had a terrible time with these passages in the Bible. I had terrible parents; just horrible, horrible. “The father” was a mental case and abused all his children in both subtle and viscous ways. He abused us all within an inch of our lives. There were times the beatings were so savage I thought he would kill me – by accident! “The mother” was absent; cold; calculating. She had not one lick of mother instinct in her. I call her wolf-like because she sacrificed her children to her husband… so she would not have to work… so she could play with her art hobbies.
So… the Bible told me I needed to honor my mother and father. WHAT!!?? The idea was un-stomachable. I fought this with my whole entire being – for many, many, mmaannyy, years. I was incensed!
But a few years back, God held my hand and gently explained to me what this passage was trying to tell me. And after He explained it to me [through the voice of the Holy Spirit] I totally “got it”. And now it makes complete sense to my previous insensibilities.
Here’s what I was told…
“Robin. The reason I ask you to do this [horrible] thing, is so that it will go well with you and so that you will live a long, more peaceful, and joyous life. For a child, it’s the parents [or caregivers] who hold the most power over them and, because they have this amount of power and influence – and are imperfect humans, this will induce the most amount of pain for the child. This is true for ALL children, no matter how perfect their imperfect parents may be. Imperfect parents will make mistakes. All human parents will make mistakes which bring pain to their children.
So… because, the biggest resentment [anger] you bear will be toward your parents then, if you can overcome this resentment and anger you hold, you will have gained a mastery over the biggest resentment you could ever have. And so, if you can gain mastery over these most intense feelings of powerlessness and fear, then, in turn, you will be able to gain mastery over any other resentment, toward anyone, you may be holding. After gaining mastery over this amount of anger/resentment, gaining a mastery over all other resentments and angers will become a piece of cake.
“You told your father the truth about how you felt growing up with him and you “honored” him by doing this. You told him your feelings in a kind, gentle way. He reacted badly to it, but you held back all your expectations of him. He did react badly but you did not fight with him. In this way you honored him. He did not want to have anything to do with you anymore; but you gave him the opportunity to start a new relationship with you – in truth and love. You did a good thing when you did this. This is also a part of honoring your father and mother.”
“You don’t have to have anything to do with your parents anymore, if it’s too much for you to deal with their continued lack of respect. That is not what I’m asking you for. What I am asking of you is that you surrender your resentments toward them. Give your anger and resentments toward them – to Me. I am a very big God. I can handle any anger you have to unload – to free yourself from. Then you will be free Robin. Then you will be free to go on to have a full and vibrant life.”
“You know how to forgive anyone – anything. I taught you how to do at an earlier time …”
**Peace & All Feloreaw to our Great God and Father**