Damn! Damn! Damn!
I do the Coulda’s and the Shoulda’s on myself a whole bunch – and I hate it!
I’m a smart cookie. This is tooting my horn some, I realize that. But I am smart. I got my smarts form my genius father who’s IQ was tested at 160. But he was also as insane and socially awkward as they come. And I inherited these traits from him as well.
He strove to be an opera singer but drove a bus for a living. He was a genius at the singing so that, even at 4 years old, I loved to listen to him sing. He was a tenor [I say “was” because he’d dead now]. But he had horrible allergies so that he couldn’t hold the long notes. You know how opera stars sing. They can hold a note longer than most people can hold their breath!
I didn’t want to sing. In fact I can’t even carry a tune. I can’t sing even one note on key.
But that’s not where my heart was anyway.
I wanted to be a statistician – or an engineer.
I’ve always loved math and I have “spatial abilities” off the charts. I can fill a dishwasher like nobody’s business – and all the dishes come out clean. My husband thinks it’s miraculous the way I do it – he’s awestruck. He thinks it’s magical.
But today, I’m a “retired-from-welfare-clerk”; married 25 years; 58 year old, who never had children.
What a waste.
This sounds horrible doesn’t it? To call myself a waste. I know it sounds horrible. But it’s the truth about how I feel about what I’ve done with this life God gave me. I definitely have a bad case of the “Woulda, Coulda, Shoulda’s”. I definitely do.
About having potential to be a statistician. I took a statistics class once where the class started out with 42 students. 14 finished it. I got an “A”. I loved it! But that didn’t count. Because I was thoroughly convinced I was dumb.
I had no self – worth; no belief in myself back then. Now I know better, but back then I thought I was stupid.
This is a warning to all the young people who are reading this post.
Follow your dream. No matter how smart you think you are – or how dumb. That matters not at all. You have at least one dream and one talent. Dig deep into yourself and find your dream and your talent. God has given us ALL at least one dream and one talent. Dig deep and find yours. It’s there – trust me. Don’t do with your life what I’ve done with mine. Don’t waste this God-given life God has given to you.
Soar with your dream and your talent.
Bless you all.
And may you know in your heart how much your heavenly Father loves you.
**Peace & All Feloreaw to our Great & Mighty God**
PS – Write to me. Tell me of your dream and of the talent God has given to you.