It’s January 1st and today is Jerry and my 25th wedding anniversary. We met through pretty strange circumstances. I think God wanted us to get together, but in His time. And now, so far, it’s been 25 years!
This is the story of how we met.
We had a mutual friend, Del, who was a match-maker. Actually, there was no money involved. She just liked to play at it. She knew both of us and kept telling us that we needed to meet because we both spoke “Martian”. We were both sober alcoholics; both were working on resolving child-hood abuse problems. We were both Christian. We were both kind of shy around other people. There were other “boths” too. So she decided we should meet. But it never happened. When I’d be over visiting, Jerry would not be able to get away, and visa-verse.
God had his own idea in mind for us.
Then, one day Del asked Jerry to go to an AA meeting with her and her husband Ernie. Jerry was living about 30 miles away at the time, in San Bernardino, but said he’d come out there anyway, even if it was a long drive. No reason. Just decided he’d do it. That was in April of 1986.
A few months before this, in January, I’d finally had it out with my dad. For the first time in my life, I’d told him the truth of the horror I’d gone through living with him as a child. I gave him the opportunity to meet with me with a therapist present so we could maybe hammer out a new relationship. He told me to f*** off. My connection to him was abruptly severed. I was a wreck for months after that… and I was on NO MOOD to be meeting any MAN!!!
It would take several months for me to back out of that mood.
So that night, in April, Jerry, Del, and Ernie went to that meeting at the Crystal Cathedral, I had no intention of going there. I hated that AA meeting for some reason. But I was in considerable emotional pain that night and so decided I just had to bite the bullet – and go. It was only a short walk from my house. I threw on my star dress, grabbed my stuffed orangutan monkey and headed out the door.
So here I come, late into the meeting, and Jerry sees me, wearing my star dress [I had a pretty curvy figure back then] and holding a stuffed money. I go to sit down. He tugs on Del’s sleeve. “Who is that!?” He exclaims. She tells him; “That’s the girl I’ve been trying to get you to meet!”
[more to this part of our story later]
A year and a half later, we were married. And we’ve stayed true to each other, through thick and thin times, ever since. When we met, I had 6 1/2 years sober, Jerry 3 1/2 years. Now I have almost 33 years and Jerry has 29. It feels like we’ve been together longer than hogs!
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Maybe I’ll have to write about some of the things we’ve been through in the 27 years we’ve known each other, and in our 25 years of marriage.