This is a post about what I learned about feelings today.
God, in His love, has given me a Christian mentor and friend who speaks the same type of “Christianese” that I speak. We are both “questioning” Christians in that we are always looking for more and more of all the goodies God has stored up in His storehouse for us.
Today we got on the subject of “Feelings”. I mean… what good are they?!
God does not say “Love your neighbor” by how you feel about them, but by your actions. Responsible actions done expressly for the benefit of the one you’re trying to love on.
“And this is how God loved us. In that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
[I know this is in the Bible somewhere – Uhh – I was just told by another blogger that its Romans 5:8]
It wasn’t about Christ having “felt” love for us, although I’m sure He did, because His love is 100%.
It said that His loving on us was expressed more through His actions than through His feelings.
So me and my friend were talking about feelings and we couldn’t come up with any purpose for them. If they’re all over the map, up and down, and all around; what good are they? You can’t show your love for someone through them – because feelings “hate” that person at times and feeling “love” them at other times. With all these ups and downs, you can’t base loving, lasting relationships on such hot and cold feelings.
So what good are they?
Then I believe the Spirit added a little input to help us with our question. This is what came up.
“What happens to a person who has no physical feelings?” The answer is; they can hurt their body – very seriously, and not even be aware of it. The other day I was reading a blog [whose?] that talked about children born without physical feeling. They need to be carefully watched 24/7 so that they don’t do bodily harm to themselves.
But that goes for physical feelings. But what about the non-physical, emotional ones? Where do they fit into the equation that makes up a whole human being? God put these up and down and all around feelings into us – for a reason – for a specific purpose. What?
So we began talking about “What if we were here on this planet without emotional feelings? What would that look like?” The first thing that came up was the psychopath, who could kill [murder] another of his/her own kind without the least feeling connected to this action. This would not be a good thing! If man-kind were all like this, we’d have destroyed each other long ago – just because we could. And that would not be good!
So, further on in our conversation, we began talking about the less-than-extreme feelings. What purpose would these have? Again, I think the Spirit helped us along. My friend remembered that she’d taught about intuition, to women in a self-defense class. She borrowed some information from a book called: “The Gift of Fear” by Gavin De Becker. For Her class, she listed the feelings he talked about in his book. They are listed in order from smallest to greatest, as such:
These feelings were SIGNALS that had nothing to do with “LOVE”. They were useful as a help to guide our way through this labyrinth called life. When interacting with another person, we get these intuitive signals about how to behave around them. Body language plays a huge part of this signaling system and our feelings are the power that drives these signals.
Of course wires can and do get crossed. Our feeling-signaling-system never works perfectly at 100% . In fact, some people, especially those who endured abuse as children [like me], have a very hard time deciphering what this feeling-signaling-system is trying to tell them. As far as getting back on track with correct interpretation of these signals, all I can say is that God is slowly healing me in this area. In my past as a child, I could not get away from being beaten, so that the signal to get away became twisted and replaced with the signal; “This is coming from my caretaker, who is always right, and who loves me. This must be how love toward me should be expressed.” When my partner hit me as an adult, it was a signal to me, that now I was REALLY & TRULY being loved on!! Today, I can see that that interpretation is incorrect.
I hope I have communicated what me and my friend “discovered” [actually what was revealed to us by the Spirit]. I have done the best I can. But it’s hard to put into earthly language what is revealed to the heart in a telepathic way. If there are parts missing, or parts that don’t make sense to you, my suggestion is to ask God about this. I know He will be very glad to fill in the gaps.