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Author of This Blog, Black Friday, Christ, Christianity, Christmas, god, Holiday, inspiration, Jesus, religion, spirituality
FIRST: Before I begin this blog, I have to say that the “Boogie-Man Blog” is out to get me again. It’s much harder to write something when you know other people are agoin’ to read it. It’s much harder to write publicly, then I thought it would be.
SECOND: I chose not to have children so, as you continue to read, please bear this is mind.
THIRD: I’m writing this for all the sober/clean/abstinent people – who don’t know what the heck is going on. I want to offer my services to these people, for whom I have such a heart.
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Black Friday, here we are. The Christmas buying frenzy has sprung.
When I was 6 years sober I made a conscious decision. I would no longer participate in the holiday cheer… the buying insanity.
“But what will the neighbors think?!”
My definition of “the neighbors”.
Anyone near enough to beat the crap out of you, if they find out you don’t celebrate the Holiday – like you should.
Well, one year, I fought back and, you know what? I can tell you from experience… Nothing Bad Happened and I Didn’t Die!!
Did you know that there are more suicides around the Christmas season than any other time of year? At the time I decided I would no longer participate, I was almost one of those statistics. Normally I don’t swear but… Screw what the neighbors might think! I chose to live – and it was none of their business.
I’m feeling much better now that I don’t participate. I watch the drivers on the road turning into maniacs – and I smile. I don’t have to drive that way anymore. I DON”T PARTICIPATE!!
“But Jesus was boooorrrrrnnnn…..!!!”
No He wasn’t.
Estimates of the time of His birth have been made for either the fall or the spring. A time when plantings weren’t needing to be taken care of and when the weather was hospitable enough for travel so people could go to their home towns to be counted for the census. If the date of his birth were able to be more skillfully predicted, I’d be glad to celebrate that. I love our Jesus. I love our Christ.
So how did I take the leap away from this holiday where so many are ripping each others’ throats out trying to grab that future pre$ent [for a loved one] from anothers’ grubby mitts? It was simple. Continue on in the insanity – or drink again. As I said… I was 6 years sober when I made this decision.
The neighbors; the family; will buy you pre$ents saying; “That’s ok, you don’t have to buy me anything. I still love you.” Don’t buy anything back for them. RESIST! They may even do this again the next year. And again I say… RESIST! By the third year they’ll get it – and they’ll finally leave you alone.
The thing is about sobriety. You either have to get honest… or you’ll drink/use again.
I’m saying this, from the standpoint of being 33 years sober. This is what I have seen in myself, and watched in the lives of other addicts. You either get honest… or you die.
If it’s going to kill you, take care of yourself! Don’t participate!!! Try it. It’s pretty neat!
“But it’s zee Holidays. You veell now be Heppy now!”
I’ll tell you somethin’ that I’ve learned in my sober walk. Don’t, ever, ever, ever, ever tell an alcoholic – what to do. Don’t get me wrong. I love to be heppy. I’m heppy a lot of the time. But don’t tell me I must be heppy. I’ll get sad – just to spite you. Like I said before… you have to get HONEST.
I remember Christmas’s past as a kid. I lived with a Christmas-participating practicing alcoholic. Every year we’d get our annual Christmas beating. “This year it’ll be different.” I’d say to myself. “This year everything will be good.” But dad found something to get mad at. It didn’t have to be anything really. A Christmas light string wouldn’t light. It could be anything… and he’d go off. And when he went off, off he’d go, to find a kid… to beat up… and usually… it was me.
So I don’t participate in the Holiday buying frenzy anymore. I don’t go out and spend money I don’t have, to buy people pre$ents they don’t want. I stay sober. And that makes the heart of my Savior sing. And, by not participating I found out something real about myself. I LOVE Christmas music. And I’ve come to find out that, on my own – of my own volition – I really do see that I love people – in spite of the holidays.
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robin claire
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You should know that if you remove or replace references to AA/NA with suitable atheist statements, this fits my world. Though I have not given up altogether, I no longer tell people I have a list. If they can figure out what they want to buy me, meh. If they get me nothing I’m just as pleased. I’ve slowly got the decorations toned down and so on and so on. It’s just a day.
I do not leave the house on black Fridays. ‘screw’ the fuss and ‘screwed up’ attitudes. I’ll stay home and have a relaxing day alone.
Good for you my deal Mal!! I’m so glad to hear I’m not “alone” in this quest to be “real”.
robin claire
Indeed, I frown on most holidays and traditions except where I make them my own. Look up the history for saying ‘god bless you’ when someone sneezes. I do not say it. There are others.
My husband never says it either. Maybe he looked it up. I’ll go look it up now.
rc
Transparency is vital to healthy life. You have put all your “cards on the table” for your readers to understand something, maybe they have not experienced. I appreciate your honesty and rejoice that you have moved on toward healing and restoration from past pain. I agree that the Lord delights in the love songs you sing to Him. There is a word I like to use often…..balance. I wished we all were more balanced about holidays, giving and all the celebrating. As Christians we have much to celebrate….daily; we have received much…. daily….and giving daily (not necessarily giving an object or monetary gift) would be a good reflex reaction for our receiving. Each day, even misrepresented traditional holidays, are redeemable through Jesus Christ. I’ll be enjoying the music with you…. I choose to give you a gift this day dear sister….. I love you… Donna
Thank you Donna. Thank you for walking beside me in this strange journey here on earth. There are so many pit-falls to avoid here and so many forks in the road to deal with. No wonder I need God so much. Without Him to guide me, I wouldn’t know where the heck I was going – or what kind of trouble I could be getting into.
robin claire
You are wise beyond wise, my friend! I’m on the same page as you! I HATE CHRISTMAS…only because my love for God is SO STRONG! I could go on for months writing about this but I won’t bore you. To sum it up…Jesus was NOT NOT NOT born on Christmas. Christmas is a PAGAN holiday…your readers, in favor of xmas, need to google ‘pagan roots of Christmas’. Then, they need to understand that Jesus is a Jew who fulfilled prophecy ALL the time on Jewish Holy Days – NOT on pagan holidays! Yes, Robin…Jesus was born in the Fall during the Hebrew Holy Day of Sukkot. Anyway, would God Himself want us spending money we don’t have when He Himself said that “it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the Kingdom of God”??? Seriously!!!!!!!!!! Are people total morons? Are getting gifts and emptying bank accounts to buy gifts more important than our Holy God???????? I guess xmas answers that question best, right? Anyway, your readers in favor of xmas should also google the meanings of xmas trees, xmas decorations, wreaths, etc. They ALL, without exception, have to do with fertility and human genitalia!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I love you Robin. Your writing is exceptional and your raw honesty is SO appreciated!
Love & Hugs
Dina
Wow Dina!
It’s sooooo nice to know that other Christians feel this way to, and not just me. And I didn’t know about the genitalia part!!!
I just learned those disgusting details about a year ago. Ugh!!!
Christmas has been a commercial event (like the businesses making money on pilgrims in the Temple in Jerusalem in Jesus’ day) for a long time. Resisting that seems a good idea. Making any season an opportunity for spiritual growth/awareness is another thing. Interesting that Jesus’ birth was not celebrated by the early church because it emphasized humanity rather than salvation/transformation. Personally I don’t like the gift giving (except to the grandchildren who get home-made clothes and knitted sweaters and photo books of their visit with us, etc to watch their delight). We tend to give donations to charities we support and tell people that is what we gave them – most really like that. BUT I also want to say it is important to follow your heart. When we do that, and let others trek the way they need to, what a pleasant day it makes it.
Hi David,
Thank you for the vote of confidence. I’m really glad to know that others feel the same way I do about this “holiday”. Now I’m doing what is laid on my HEART to do at this time of year. I also send out cards to those people I have a special love for…. because I WANT to… not because I HAVE to. It’s all about the motivation I feel. It’s the difference between Love and Fear.
robin claire
This happens all the time. I just finished posting an article with that exact topic before reading your comment. God leaves me speechless (but not wordless, fortunately).
Robin, I have been silent for a while and now I must speak: Robin you are not wrong on your stand about Christmas if God is putting in your heart to not be apart then don’t. As for myself and family we love to celebrate the birth of Christ. Yes we know this was not the time of year He was born. We give presents to one another but as to bankrupt each other. what has become the tradition in our family is to give to someone in greater need than ones self. That person must also not know where the gift came from. My children and grandchildren have been taught that Christmas is not about them getting but the Father in Heaven giving to save the world. To be examples of Christ we must be willing to give and not expect to get. Our house at Christmas time is filled with peace, joy and praise and worship to our King Jesus. We look at Christmas as our time to give Jesus, I have a story to tell about giving Jesus I will write a post about it. I must thank-you for writing this for it has given me one more way I can give away Jesus this year. Oh yes we do not play the game of blake friday and all the other things Satan has made Christmas into. Please do not think my words a rebuke for you are right in what our Lord has place in your heart. 1 Corinthians 8: 4-13 is about eat food offered to idols, I hope I am not a stumbling block to you. Your Brother who can be more of a bother, In Christ Jesus our Lord, Amen James
Hi James, et al
Please be re-assured. I do not feel rebuked in any way by you. You have only shared how you like to celebrate the season and have not told me what I must do – so I do not see you as a stumbling block at all. Enjoy the season as you desire to. I like the part about giving anonymously. I have received other responses from persons who also celebrate this season in that fashion. I want to say that the thing for me that’s so important is that I want to do – what I WANT to do for this season, with the motivation being Love. Feeling like I HAD to “do it” is motivated by FEAR; a motivation that has dogged me [because of the way I was raised] my entire life. I am trying to break free of this terrible motivation [fear] to be doing things and working with Christmas in this way, helps. I know God loves me, and I know He understands why I am doing this, that I must do. Maybe I’ll come around one day and involve myself in this holiday – but the motivation will be that of Love.
Much love to you all, in Christ
robin claire
I was believed I was picking up on some discouragement in your post. But you got it right do everything out of Love, (Jesus), not out of fear or compelled by others.
That’s setting an example, the good Samaritan
I am glad you have found serenity in exchanging your “Ho ho ho” for “Ha ha ha.” Some people abstain from celebration for the wrong reasons, like pain of the past or fear of disappointing futures, but if you are courageous enough to walk away and not do it to avoid confronting issues, then I say, more power to you! Jesus didn’t come that we would celebrate His birth, but that He could celebrate our rebirth into abundant Life. (John 10:10)
Thank you TL for your encouragement.
robin claire
Great post encouraginf a family member in Christ
On the topic of Jesus birth, he was born in the spring. I will be posting that message soon.
Hi Robin, I find it strange that people including Christians think that God would not have recorded in Scripture the exact time of His Son’s Birth, the greatest gift to Mankind ever. It is indeed recorded and when we have Spiritual eyes to see and God’s wisdom to work through the events that led up to Jesus’ birth it is shown very clearly to be when we Celerbrate it . As for it being in spring, even the Oxen in the stable when Jesus was Born, show this is error and today they still pasture the sheep outside in winter at Christmas time, so those who claim it was not in December have indeed got it wrong.
As for our Christmas time being a Pagan celebration when they worship their sun god, well regardless of what day it was, they worship their gods all year and besides who cares what they do, we remember Jesus’ birth not their sun god and that is what is important, God looks at our heart and knows our True focus.
But apart from these reasons that are in error but are propagated for not remembering Jesus’ Birth in December, I would rather believe what God’ tells us in Scripture then man’s own wordly calulations, reasoning and logic, their understanding when lacking Godly insight is always off target.
If we continue with Freedomborn as it is, I will show before Christmas by using Scripture that our Christmas day as we know it was indeed the right time of Jesus’ Birth and then Robin you can indeed celebrate this wonderful event with assurence and thankfulness on the Day God ordained for it to be from Eternity the 25th of December … He knows the begining to the end and never gets it wrong!
Take care my friend, Christian Love – Anne.
I regret that you, who clearly wrote this personal post as a revelation of yourself for many purposes, not the least of which was cathartic expression, likely in the hope that someone would find your feelings familiar to their own, have been battered with contradiction and criticism for your personal stance. I just deleted my subscription to the comments on this post because of the negative feedback it has generated. (Much of it has come even in the name of Christ!) I can only imagine what this feedback must be doing to the author, and I hurt for you! God bless you, dear sister! Keep accentuating the positive and eliminating the negative. God knows there is enough trouble in one day for each one! (Matthew 6:34)
I will “keep on keeping on”. I’m sorry to see you leave me. As for the negative feedback, I’m not having a very hard time with it. I’m writing what I think the Spirit is having me write and some people are not into that. That’s ok. This blog isn’t meant to be for everyone to be happy with it. I’m a thinker and a questioner type Christian. Like I said in my “Who Am I?” page. Although I am DEFINITELY have a personal relationship with Jesus, I’m still a quirky Christian from an Atheist background and this can make some Christians uncomfortable.
Much, much love to you in Christ,
robin claire
Hi again Robin, I am writing this message for you because I care and because I find it very sad that people want to reject God’s Truth on hearsay and unproven stories and not with Scriptural support to confirm what they share but why do they? Truth only causes concern when we are in error, so if they are upset then they need to confirm with Scripture not by their own or someone elses understanding why they believe what they do and they need to do this before they reject what is in God’s written word, it’s so easy to pass on error, this is why God tells us to test the spirit of those who seek to teach us we also know there are wolves who pretend to be in unity with us.
So how do we Test their spirit, always by God’s Truth, if rejected they are either false teachers or deceived, we must always seek to correct error with Truth but then remembering that I too once belived what man taught in error, I understand their deception, that is why I asked and received God’s wisdom and those who claim this is not True, are saying they can’t receive it either and that God lies and does not keep His promises, sad that they are so unstable. James1:5-8 as these Scriptures confirm.
As for your writing, I know how you feel Robin, with being Dyslestic I had great fears that my errors would be very glaring but I remembered that God chooses those who the world conciders foolish and who they think don’t measure up but God equips us and empowers us, besides we are all cracked vessels but God is the Super Glue, so take heart and Trust in Him not man.
Just one very important Truth for you Robin about Christmas… without the Birth of Jesus Christ we could not have been Born again through His sacrificial death, His birth and death go together. He came to set us free from the slavery of sin and it’s punishment and He confirmed and showed clearly that by the indwelling Holy Spirit being Born again and perfected in Love, we are like Him having God’s seed and that we no longer have the sinful flesh nature, having put it to death, the old has gone and the new has come 1John3:1-11( 9 )… Lets Celabrate both Christmas and Easter with Joy and Thankfulness for God’s great Love and Mercy and also remember to seek to share His Truth always… but to do so, we need to know it!.
Christian Love – Anne.
Thanks Anne for taking the time to stop by and read my “very raw” posts. I have a hard time with the commercialism that goes along with Christmas now-a-days, but I do remember the birth of Christ. I also LOVE to celebrate Easter. This is my favorite holiday of all time. He went through soooo much to save us – all His children. I’ve been watching a video from Kay Arthur (Healing My Hurts) and going through her book with my Christian mentor and friend. Today she was acting out the death of Jesus and all He went through – for us. It was so raw. It got to the very heart of me so that there were many tear drops on the paper where i was taking my notes.
As for the Bible. I don’t read it very much; which is sad I know. I think it’s because I I still wrestle with some demons that want to keep me away from it. But read my post “The Black Spirit of Black Rhino” if you have some time. I was in a black place and the Bible gave me a BIG leg out of it. Little by little, with my mentor helping me, I’m beginning to see of what enormous value it has for us. Just a little bit of it healed me of being in that very black place.
Love to you too.
robin claire
Hi Robin, thank you for sharing from your heart it is beautiful that you do so, many are afraid to be real, yes we do all need Love, acceptance, to be needed and to be valued as people of worth, all of which Jesus does for us but we also need each other, God created us this way and as He said about Adam, it is not good that man be alone and we as Christians need the Body of Christ, we need each other but first we place Jesus as our Authority, Teacher Friend and guide and without His Godly wisdom we will be in error or confusion. He said we don’t have because we don’t ask or when we do we don’t believe we receive or it’s for the wrong reasons we ask when in connection to material things so we don’t receive. I do value other peoples sharing about Faith but I don’t accept what they say unless it is confirmed in the Scriptures but if I had not asked for God’s wisdom I would not know if they were in error even if I had read the Bible from cover to cover which I have now done many times.
I hope to spend more time getting to know you Robin so I will read a few of your past Posts that I have missed, I will also share with you the reason why with Scriptural confirmation if I find you are in error but I will also encourage and affirm you when your spot on. Honesty to me is more important then acceptance and that is what the Cross of Christ is based on, Jesus was hated and put to death for telling the Truth and so will we be if we follow Him…. yes for some of us it will mean death, we are in the end times.
Christian Love – Anne.
Thank you Anne,
I want to be in alignment with what the Bible says, but I don’t read it all that much. Why? It feels like it’s over my head sometimes. I feel stupid when I read it and don’t understand what it’s saying. Sometimes I get a revelation or two from reading it. God can so soooo much in soooo few words…
“Pray for your enemies…”
like that, and such.
I wrote something called: “Rusty’s Accident and Forgiveness”. It will come up if you do a Search for “Forgiveness” or “Accident” (you have to press the Enter key for the search to be done).
Love to you in Christ
robin claire
ps- I WELCOME any input from you regarding what the Bible says.
rc